Ep9. What Does Play Have to Do with Parenting?

Alternatively, listen on Spotify or Apple.

In this episode, we explore why play isn’t just about fun and games - it’s a powerful parenting tool.

You’ll hear how both shared and independent play support your child’s development, nurture your connection, and even give you both a moment of calm. We also look at how play can repair conflict, invite joy, and become a key part of your mindful parenting journey.

You’ll Learn:

• Why play is foundational for your child’s emotional and social development

• How shared play deepens connection and supports co-regulation

• What independent play teaches your child—and why it matters for you, too

• Real-life play ideas for toddlers, primary schoolers, and even teens

• How play can help you reconnect after hard parenting moments

Why This Episode Matters

In a world that often pushes productivity over presence, it’s easy to overlook play. But play is where connection happens, where feelings are processed, and where your child learns about themselves and others. Whether you’re overwhelmed or just looking for simple ways to parent more mindfully, this episode offers small, doable shifts that can make a big difference.

Take Home Action

Create a little pocket of solo play time. Maybe it’s after lunch or while you're doing something nearby. Let it be simple, quiet, and open. No pressure. No performance. Just space to be.

Notice how it feels for you. Did it create more ease? Did your child surprise you with their creativity? Did the house feel a little lighter, even for a moment?

Take the Next Step

Download the free Look and Find Free Printable to encourage mindful, independent play. It’s a gentle way to invite your child into presence—indoors or outdoors—and gives you a few minutes of breathing space, too.

Links and Resources Mentioned:

• Look and Find – Free Printable

• Playful Parenting by Dr. Lawrence Cohen (note - this is an affiliate link)

• Related episode: Ep 5 – Can Connection Really Help Your Kids Listen Better?

Let’s Connect

If this episode resonated, I’d love to hear from you. DM me on Instagram here and share your play moments—or tell me what shifted for you. And if you haven’t yet, don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

About the Host:

Nina is a mindful parenting coach and mum of three, passionate about helping parents go from overwhelmed and reactive to calm, confident, and connected. Through her coaching programs, podcast, and practical resources, she supports parents in building a family life rooted in mindfulness, presence, and gentle strength. She enjoys holding impromptu dance parties, and has had a lot of practice playing ‘Ryder’ in games of Paw Patrol with her boys.

Transcript

Note - This transcript has been copied and pasted but not proofread or edited, so it may contain errors or inaccuracies.

You're listening to Your Calm Parenting Path. I’m your host, Nina, a mindful parenting coach and mum, here to help you go from overwhelmed and reactive to calm, confident, and connected with your kids.

This show is for parents who want to raise their children with more patience, less stress, and a whole lot more joy. Because small shifts make a big impact—and you can build the parenting life you’ve always wanted.

If you want to see what I’m up to, follow me on Instagram at [your handle]. And don’t forget to hit follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Now, let’s get started!

Welcome back to Your Calm Parenting Path —Today, we’re diving into something that seems so simple on the surface—but is actually one of the most powerful tools we have as parents: play.

Now, before you skip ahead thinking "we already play a lot," or "I don’t have time for more play," I want to tell you—this episode isn’t just about getting down on the floor and playing trains. It’s about connection, regulation, and resilience – both yours and your child's.

We’re going to explore two powerful aspects of play: the magic that happens when we join our children in their imaginative worlds, and the incredible growth that takes place when we step back and allow them to play independently. Let’s start with why play is so essential.

Why Play is Foundational

Play isn’t fluff. It’s foundational. Play supports cognitive, physical, social, and emotional well-being in children. It helps them develop empathy, problem-solving skills, and the ability to manage emotions. Dr. Stuart Brown, a leading researcher on play, calls it the "oxygen of childhood" – and even of adulthood. Without play, learning is stunted, creativity withers, and emotional regulation struggles.

When we join our kids in play, we enter their world. We send the message: I see you. I delight in you. I'm here with you. These micro-moments of shared imagination, laughter, and spontaneity build safety and joy. And when we’re mindful in play — truly present, without checking our phones or rushing to the next thing — our kids feel it. They thrive on it. It becomes a form of co-regulation, not just entertainment.

Play also gives us insight into how our children are feeling and what they’re processing. When a child plays out the day’s events or reenacts a moment from school with their toys, we gain a glimpse into their emotional world. This makes it easier to respond with empathy, to ask gentle questions later, or to offer comfort in a way that resonates. In that way, play becomes a kind of mindfulness tool for us as parents — helping us pay attention without judgment.

Barriers to Play

But let’s be honest: it’s not always easy. Play can feel silly, tedious, or even impossible when you’re tired, touched out, or buried under the mental load of parenting. Sometimes we struggle with being present because we’re overwhelmed or trying to multitask.

That’s why it’s important to acknowledge that while playing with our children is meaningful, it’s also not our job to entertain them all day long. Which brings us to the other side of the coin: independent play.

The Case for Independent Play

Independent play isn’t just a break for you—it’s a gift for your child. It helps them develop focus, creativity, problem-solving, and self-regulation. Research shows that unstructured, self-directed play supports executive function—things like working memory, emotional control, and flexible thinking. In fact, children who engage in open-ended, child-led play show better emotion regulation and cognitive flexibility.

What’s wonderful is that most children naturally want to explore their own ideas—they often just need the space and permission. If we can let go of the idea that we need to constantly entertain them, they can start discovering the magic of solo play. Sometimes, all it takes is a moment of connection first—a short game or snuggle—before inviting them into a quiet, open-ended activity. It might be play dough, blocks, nature finds, or drawing. And once they’re in it, we step back. Let them lead. Let them lose themselves.

And here’s the beautiful link back to mindfulness: when children play independently, they are practicing presence. They are immersed in the moment, absorbed by curiosity. And if we’re nearby—not interrupting, but observing—we get a chance to do the same. We get a little pause to breathe, reset, and maybe even enjoy the quiet.

Balancing Shared and Solo Play

This kind of rhythm—moving between connection and autonomy—is so powerful. Some of my most connected moments with my kids have been during silly made-up games or spontaneous dance parties. And some of their most creative moments have come from being left alone with a box full of recycling and some sitcky tape.

So what does this look like in real life? For toddlers, shared play might be peek-a-boo, stacking blocks together, or playing chasey in the backyard. For primary-aged kids, it could be a living room dance party, building a LEGO world, or making cushion castle with the couch cushions. And even teens, though they may seem more withdrawn, still benefit from playful connection — maybe it’s a funny TikTok trend you try together, a game of cards, or joking around during dinner clean-up. Play doesn’t have to look like dress-ups to count. It just needs laughter, curiosity, or shared imagination.

Independent play shifts depending on age too. Toddlers might need short stretches of solo exploration — maybe banging pots, lining up animals, or scribbling with crayons. Primary school kids can spend longer stretches absorbed in imaginative storylines with toys, creating art, or roleplaying scenarios. My boys love to write stories and draw pictures for each page. And for teens, independent play might look like journaling, creative writing, building something hands-on, or simply wandering the backyard lost in thought and music. They may not call it play, but if it sparks curiosity and joy, it counts.

And here’s something practical you can try this week: my Mindful Moments Scavenger Hunt freebie. It’s a simple printable you can use around the home or outdoors that gently encourages your child to tune in to their senses and surroundings. They can do it alone or alongside you. It’s a great way to blend mindfulness with both togetherness and independent exploration—and it’s so grounding.

Repairing Through Play

Now, beyond just building skills, play can also be a healing tool. If there’s been a rupture—a hard morning, a meltdown, or a moment of disconnection—play can be the bridge back. Sometimes it’s a silly voice, a pillow fight, or a gentle tickle that unlocks the tension and opens the door to laughter. As Dr. Lawrence Cohen, author of Playful Parenting, says, "Play is children’s language. Join them, and you speak straight to their hearts."

When we use play to reconnect, we’re not ignoring the hard feelings—we’re allowing those feelings to soften. And we’re modeling what it looks like to return to joy, to move through conflict without shame.

A Gentle Challenge

Now, in episode 5, I set you the weekly challenge of spending 10 minutes with your child in play. I’ll link to this episode in the show notes. So this week, I invite you to create a little pocket of solo play time. Maybe it’s after lunch or while you're doing something nearby. Let it be simple, quiet, and open. No pressure. No performance. Just space to be.

Notice how it feels for you. Did it create more ease? Did your child surprise you with their creativity? Did the house feel a little lighter, even for a moment?

Closing Thoughts

That’s today’s path: a reminder that play—both shared and solo—isn’t an extra. It’s essential. It nurtures connection, builds resilience, and invites mindfulness in a form your child understands intuitively. If you’d like to give the Mindful Moments Scavenger Hunt a try, you’ll find the link in the show notes. It’s a free printable that gently brings mindfulness into playtime—and into your everyday rhythm.

If you loved this episode or learned something new, I’d be so grateful if you left a review or shared it with a friend. And as always, thank you for walking this path with me.

Until next time, go gently. And remember: small shifts create big impact.

Thanks for listening to Your Calm Parenting Path! I’m so glad you’re here, and I hope this episode gave you something useful to take into your parenting journey.

If you’d like to dive deeper, sign up for my mailing list at mindfulparentinglifestyle.com.au for more tips and insights, or book a free chat to learn how we can work together. And don’t forget to hit follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode.

I look forward to speaking with you next time on Your Calm Parenting Path.