Ep14. Is Friendship Harder for Some Kids? With Kaz Parrot
- Nina Visic
- Jul 23
- 21 min read
Updated: Jul 28
In this episode, I’m joined by Kaz Parrott, Children’s Emotional Wellbeing Specialist and founder of Raising Connected Kids. Kaz shares why some children - especially those who are kind-hearted and thoughtful - may find friendships overwhelming.
We talk about how to support kids who feel left out, how to build emotional and social confidence, and the small but powerful ways parents can nurture meaningful friendships without forcing their child to fit in.
You’ll Learn
Why some kids find social situations more intense or confusing
The four foundational skills that help kids make and keep friends
How to support your child when they say “I have no friends”
The common mistake we make when trying to help - and what to do instead
Why validating your child’s feelings makes all the difference.
Why This Episode Matters
Friendships are a huge part of childhood - but for many kids, especially those who feel things deeply, they can be overwhelming and unpredictable.
This episode offers insights and tools to help your child build real, respectful, and joyful connections - without changing who they are.
If you’ve ever felt helpless watching your child navigate tricky friendship dynamics, this conversation will bring both comfort and clarity.
Take Home Action
This week, try starting with validation.
If your child says something like “No one wants to play with me,” resist the urge to fix or reassure right away.
Instead, pause and say:
“That sounds really hard. I’m sorry you felt that way today.”
Start with empathy - then gently offer hope:
“Friendships take time, and your people are out there.”
Take the Next Step
To support your child’s social and emotional confidence, check out Kaz’s Connected Kids workshops and coaching. These small-group online programs help kids develop the skills and confidence they need to thrive - without having to change who they are.
Links and Resources Mentioned
Let’s Connect
Follow Nina on Instagram
Website: mindfulparentinglifestyle.com.au
About the Hosts
Nina Visic is a mindful parenting coach and mum to three beautiful boys. She knows firsthand what it’s like to parent a child who hangs back at parties, who needs time to warm up, or who quietly absorbs the world around them while everyone else jumps in. Like so many parents, she's felt that tug of worry, the sting of seeing your child left out, and even the discomfort of sitting with their silence when you just want them to join in and have fun.
But she's also learned that there’s real power in pausing, in holding space, and in honouring who our children are - without rushing them to be someone they’re not.
On Your Calm Parenting Path, she shares gentle guidance, expert interviews, and real-life stories to help you go from overwhelmed and reactive to calm, confident, and connected with your kids. Whether you’re navigating big emotions, friendship wobbles, or just trying to get through the week with more patience, she's here to walk beside you - one small shift at a time.
Kaz Parrott is a Children’s Emotional Wellbeing Specialist, teacher, and founder of Raising Connected Kids. With over 20 years’ experience working with children - and as a mum to two beautifully sensitive boys - Kaz is passionate about helping kind-hearted kids grow into confident, resilient little humans.
Through her interactive workshops, online programs, and 1:1 coaching, Kaz supports children aged 4 to teens to build emotional confidence, navigate tricky friendships, and develop social resilience - without ever asking them to be someone they’re not. Her work is grounded in deep empathy and backed by research, with a clear belief that every child deserves to feel seen, understood, and proud of who they are.
Transcript
This transcript was created using Headliner. It has been copied and pasted but not proofread or edited, so it may contain errors or inaccuracies.
Nina: You're listening to your calm parenting path. I'm your host, Nina, a mindful parenting coach and mum. M here to help you go from overwhelmed and reactive to calm, confident and connected with your kids. This show is for parents who want to raise their children with more patience, less stress and a whole lot more joy. Pick because small shifts make a big impact and you can build the parenting life you've always wanted. If you want to see what I'm up to, follow me on Instagram Mindful parenting lifestyle. And don't forget to hit, follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode. Let's get started.
Nina: Hello and welcome back to your calm parenting path. Today I'm joined by the incredible Kaz Parrot Child'emotional welling specialist, teacher and founder of Raising Connected Kids. Kaz is a mum of two beautiful, sensitive boys and has over 20 years of experience working with children. She's on a mission to help kind hearted, sensitive kids grow into confident, resilient little humans without ever asking them to be someone they're not. In today's chat, we're going to explore why these kids often feel overwhelmed by friendships and how we as parents can help them develop the emotional and social skills that they need to thrive. So if you've ever wondered how to help your child through a friendship wobble or support their sensitive heart in a loud and busy world, this episode is for you. Kaz, thank you so much for joining us today. I'm so excited for this conversation.
Speaker C: Oh, uh, thank you for having me.
Nina: Nina, could you start just by telling us a little bit about what drew you to this work and what sparked Raising Connected Kids?
Speaker C: Yeah, sure. So throughout my teaching career, I was always drawn to the quieter, more sensitive students. Those beautiful kids who sometimes fly under the radar, I guess because I was one of them too myself.
Nina: Uh, okay.
Speaker C: Yeah, I know exactly what it was like to sit in a classroom full of noise and feel overwhelmed or unsure. And just like that sense of being, not quite enough. And then when I became a mum to two sensitive boys, I saw those gentle traits reflected back in them. And I actually love that about my boys I like. I was so proud and admired their empathy and their gentle, sensitive nature. I wanted my boys to grow up seeing their sensitivity as a strength, not a flaw. Like I did.
Nina: Beautiful. Yepah.
Speaker C: So that was the spark. And then my turning point why I changed careers was because while I was teaching in schools, kept seeing these bright, intelligent, friendly kids who should have been thriving, but instead they were struggling emotionally. They, uh, were having big worries and pressures and really trouble finding their place in friendships. So I created Raising Connected Kids.
Nina: Beautiful.
Speaker C: An educational programme that gives children the emotional tools.
Nina: Yeah.
Speaker C: And the confidence and the strategies so they can shine just being themselves without having to toughen up m or be something that they're not.
Nina: Excellent. And as a mum of boys, that whole toughen up Persona needs to go. So I'm really, really grateful for the work that you do.
Speaker C: Yeah. Oh, thank you. Ye you wholeheartedly.
Nina: Now you focus on kind hearted, sensitive kids. What are some traits of these children that might make friendships more overwhelming for them?
Speaker C: Yeah. First of all, I want to say raising a sensitive child is a gift.
Nina: Beautiful.
Speaker C: We're privileged to be raising sensitive kids. And also well done mums for being able to raise a sensitive child in this sometimes.
Nina: Agreed.
Speaker C: And when that sensitivity is embrace, it can be a joy. But as you said, Nina, it does come with challenges, especially related to friendships. Now, the reasons, the traits or the reasons why, um, sensitive kids process the world more deeply. They're incredibly empathetic. They're perceptive, like in tune and thoughtful. But it also means that they pick up on everything. Every tone, every glance, every social shift.
Nina: Yeah.
Speaker C: And they feel other people's energy. So their nervous system is often on high alert, which can make social situations a bit overwhelming for them. It also
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Speaker C: means that they're vulnerable to being misunderstood or even taking advantage of. In friendships, their kindness might be mistaken for weakness. And because they're so, I guess, aware of other people, they can become worried about hurting somebody's feelings. So they might not speak up when something doesn't feel 'right for them.
Nina: Yeah.
Speaker C: Or they might go along with what others want even if it doesn't suit them. Just to avoid rocking the boat.
Nina: Yeah. I can, uh. As you're speaking, I'm like, that sounds like me when I was a kid and I didn't realise. Interesting.
Speaker C: Yeah. And I know myself like, because being a quieter person, it can feel like you're being over. Over looked or like there're in the group dynamics that they don't really get to have a say. And it's not that they don't have anything to say, they absolutely do. It's just that their need for, I guess, harmony and connection sometimes overrides their own voice.
Nina: Um, so how might they interpret or respond to conflict differently than other kids?
Speaker C: I guess conflict for sensitive kids is harder than most children and teens. So even small disagreements can feel like a rejection and that can lead to them withdrawing or shutting down. They often internalise things deeply and take Comments and actions personally, even if that wasn't the intention.
Nina: Yeah.
Speaker C: And, um, because they avoid those confrontations, like I said before, they might struggle to set boundaries and say no when they need to and then avoid conflict altogether. Um, again, not because they don't care, but because they care so much that it feels so intense. Like, even gentle disagreements feel so intense for them. They're worried about hurting somebody else's feelings that they would just prefer to stay quiet.
Nina: Yeah.
Speaker C: So, I mean, that's part of what we. How we help, um, sensitive children is by developing their assertiveness in a way that still feels kind. And we teach kids that it's not mean to say what you need and also that the right friends will respect you even more for voicing your needs and teaching them how to handle conflict with kindness and strength and that it's okay. Yeah. They are 100% allowed to stand up for themselves and that conflict doesn't have to be avoided. It can be addressed in a sensitive, kind and effective way.
Nina: Yeah. Yes. So some things you mentioned there, how to help them with conflict. What's some common mistakes that we as parents might make when trying to help our kids with their friendship struggles?
Speaker C: Okay, I had a think. There's a few years. Parents, we're all trying to do our best. But one mistake that is really common, and it comes from a really loving place, is when parents push their kids to just go and play or just go and join in without helping their sensitive child understand how and when to do those things.
Nina: Okay.
Speaker C: So for sensitive kids, it can feel incredibly overwhelming going and joining in with a group of other kids. One thing that sensitive kids really do benefit from is that time to observe and that opportunity to get a sense of the group dynamics, to feel emotionally ready before they approach other children. We actually encourage kids to watch and listen first total to see's what we're doing. Notice the kind and inclusive kids within a group. Pay attention to the energy.
Nina: Yeah.
Speaker C: And then that gives them time to figure out, o, uh, is this group right for me? Is this person a right for me? Because jumping in, this is an important part actually for parents.
Nina: Yeah.
Speaker C: Jumping in at the wrong moment, like in the middle of the game going, say, can I play with you? If it's at the wrong moment, that can lead to a no. Which the, uh, sense of child means rejection. And it's not because the other child is being unkind, but it's just because that timing wasn't quite right.
Nina: They're in the middle of a game.
Speaker C: Yeah. And to a Sensitive child, even just a neutral no. Or not right now can feel huge and discouraged.
Nina: Yeah.
Speaker C: If we can help our kids to read social situations and, um, wait for the natural pauses or transitions, then that's s. A big gift.
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Speaker C: And give our, um.
Nina: Now, I'm not sure if this is along the same lines. One of my boys, whenever we go to a social situation, he'll hang back, even if it's the birthday party of one of his best friends. If we get to the party, he's excited up until the point that he walks in the door, he sees all his friends and then he just freezes. Is it the similar type of way that you would d approach it? So I always just let him sit with me, sit on my knee, until eventually he feels comfortable to go and play. And these are friends that he plays with every day at school. But it's in a different environment and I find myself getting, uh, annoyed or embarrassed by his behaviour, by him not wanting to play. And I think part of it is also how we respond, isn't it? You know, we have to accept that's what he's like. Give him a space, give him his time and when it's ready, except that he will go and join and if he doesn't, that's fine as well.
Speaker C: Yeah, I think that's a really common one, Nina. I know I've been in that situation more so when my kids were like younger and toddlers and many other parents.
Nina: Sure.
Speaker C: We will relate to, like you go somewhere and the kids are standing by your side and then five minutes before you have to leave, that's when 100% we join in. And then having a ball and then you have like, oh, now we have to go.
Nina: Yeah.
Speaker C: Um, so it's a really common situation for parents with sensitive kids. And you're right. It's about our perception as, um. As parents of sensitive children, being able to reframe that and realise that they just need a little bit more time and a bit more space because those. Like you said, it's a different environment. So that environment and friendship is friendships by nature. Messy. Right. There's all those unspoken rules, different social dynamics, lots of uncertainty. And so too sensitive kids, it can feel unpredictable.
Nina: Yes.
Speaker C: And even unsafe to them, to their nervous. I don't mean physically safe, but to their nervous system, it feels unsafe. So they just take a little bit longer. And because they notice everything, they're taking in all the different. So many thousand sights and foods and everything. That's a lot for them to process. And because they're ah so incredibly in tuned it can um, make them more likely to overthink things, worry y even misinerpret. So so what they're seeking while they're standing there watching is they're watching and then they're looking for okay, where can I make a real connection here? Where can I find the right spot and space for me? And it's to protect their energy.
Nina: Yeah.
Speaker C: And also to avoid that potential rejection as well. Not m to mention all the sensory sensitivities also that might especially the play.
Nina: Centre parties I find.
Speaker C: Ye yeah. Well you think I mean I know as s an adult going in there it's so noisy and that over stimulation can heighten all those sensitivities. And also I mean I feel a bit anxious.
Nina: Yes.
Speaker C: Not just. It's not just their group of friends either is it in rep play cents it's all other children and they're noisy different. So uh, it's not they re opting out. It's not that they don't want to go and play. It's just that they are looking for the right time. And as parents we can support them with that.
Nina: We can 100%. So back to some of the friendship things. What are some foundational skills that you believe every child needs to build and keep positive friendships?
Speaker C: Okay. So our uh, programme we believe that there are four foundational skills and these are the four skills that we teach in our friendship workshops. All kids actually need these. But especially sensitive children. Ye um, because it helps them build strong positive friendships which is essential for even later on in their life. We're building strong positive relationships also.
Nina: Perfect.
Speaker C: So the first thing we help them with is understanding what real friendship looks like.
Nina: Great.
Speaker C: And feels like. So a lot of kids think that a friend is somebody that they see every day or somebody that they spend a lot of find with even if that person isn't kind to them. Um, so we help them to define what real genuine friendship is so then they can learn to look for those connections that a safe and respectful
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Speaker C: and mutual beautiful. The second one is knowing and communicating their boundaries. So especially our sensitive kids need to know how they do and don't want to be treated. Mhm.
Nina: That's a big one.
Speaker C: And then have the confidence to be able to speak up when something doesn't feel right for them. Now it might look different for our sensitive kids to other children and that's okay because we all, even as adults, we all have different needs and preferences and we are uh, allowed to have those and working out what we do and don't like is part of that. Navigating friendships. So number three is the problem solving skills and also social resilience. So, yep, we teach kids how to handle tricky situations like feeling left out or navigating miscommunications or misunderstandings. We do that through role play and real world scenarios that they can relate to, teaching them how to see other perspectives and also how to handle it when somebody, especially if it's a soap called Friend, is being mean to them, how they can manage that situation.
Nina: Great.
Speaker C: And the last one. So number four, sorry, it's quite a lot that we.
Nina: No, this is fantastic.
Speaker C: So the last one is having the confidence to initiate and maintain friendships. So uh, when kids feel good about who they are, it shines through. We help build up their self belief and help them to realise that being a sensitive person is an awesome thing to be. It's not something to be embarrassed or shame by and hide away. It's something that they can feel proud of. So once that we build up their self belief then we can help them feel ready to say hello or give a wave and said fantastic. Can approach friendship. They're not necessarily going to run in there saying, hi, I'm here.
Nina: Yeah.
Speaker C: But in their sensitive, quiet, more gentle way they're going to be able to join in and express themselves without that worry of how they're going to be judged.
Nina: M Can you tell us a bit more about this programme? So this is a, is it a four week programme, the friendships, or is it just a course? How do parents get involved with that programme? It sounds amazing.
Speaker C: Ye. Yeah. So we have, we call them Connected Kids workshops and they uh, are four week programmes where kids learn basically those four foundational skills that I just spoke about. And kids come and join us. We run them as group programmes. But uh, given the nature of the kids who we work with, they're always like small intimate groups. So we only ever have up to six kids in our groups. We, they're available across Australia and I don't know if you have any um, Kiwi listeners other. Oh, maybe we do, yeah. We have quite a few kids from New Zealand joining us as well. So it's an online programme. Brilliant kids join us via Zoom. And they love it because they get to uh, meet other sensitive kids and hear their experiences and help them realise that they are not alone. Sensitive kids are not often talking about these difficulties or challenges at school and sometimes they, they could even be the only person going through this in their class and they look around and think, oh, it's so easy for everybody else. It must be me. There must be something wrong with me. Whereas when we can come together with other children, they, uh. It's actually beautiful. They.
Nina: You can see it happen.
Speaker C: Yeah. They form like a really strong support network to each other and they encourage each other and. Yeah. So show so much compassion with each other as well.
Nina: And it sounds amazing.
Speaker C: Yeah. To see them building up to that. Like in the fourth week when they do go out and they put their skills into practise with making new friends or identifying new friends and then they come back and tell us and they're all like, uh, that's beautiful.
Nina: Excellent. Well, I'll put the links to your programmes in the show notes or at least to the website so people can check that out if they think their kids would be suitable to attend. I think my kids will be. Be in touch. Okay. So how do you support a child who keeps saying that no one wants to play with them or that they have no friends? What's your tips for that situation?
Speaker C: Yeah, it's heartbreaking when, like as a parent, when we hear those words, nobody wants to play with me. I have no friends. And firstly, I want to say this really clearly. Just because your child is struggling with friendships
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Speaker C: doesn't mean that they're not lovable or likeable. I've said it a number of times in this conversation. Sensitive kids are incre. Humans.
Nina: Yeah.
Speaker C: But when they do hold back or struggle socially, they themselves can start to believe that there's something wrong with them. And sometimes that belief becomes the barrier within the friendships. So, uh, as parents, we can help them to reconnect with who they, uh, are. Help them feel proud of themselves and celebrate them for their sensitivity. And as parents, we can help guide them to find friendships that fit them. Not friendships, when they have to fit in.
Nina: Oh, yes.
Speaker C: Or they have to change who they are, but friendships that fit their personality, which means not forcing them into places that don't feel right.
Nina: Yeah. I love that. So important.
Speaker C: Yeah. And like I said before, as parents we can reframe it to not as a failure, but as maybe just a season of their life where it m might be they might be having difficulties and friendships. But with the right guidance, it can change. Everything can change. Those right friends are out there. I assure you, parents, the right friends for your child are out there. But a bit like gemstones sometimes they can be, uh, harder to find. And. And it's true because if we're looking for those gentle, sensitive, spirited people, they're not the ones that are standing out. They're not often. Or they might be, but often it's not the most obvious choices out there for our kids. So uh, yeah, it can take a little bit more, I guess, but don't.
Nina: They say that the harder it is to find the gemstone, the more precious it is? Or there s some kind of quote around that?
Speaker C: Yeah. Like I said, it's really important that we help to shift the story. If your child's starting to go along with the narrative of maybe I don't belong, maybe there's something wrong with me. That's an essential part that we want to shift.
Nina: Yep.
Speaker C: We want to teach kids to reconnect with who they are and value what they bring to a friendship and yeah, let them know that their friends are out there.
Nina: Yeah. O uh, that's beautiful. Thanks Kaz. Are you able to share a story, an anonymous one of a child you've worked with who made progress in their social confidence? Kind of inspire parents?
Speaker C: Yeah. Gosh, I have so many I could share.
Nina: O I love that.
Speaker C: I like kids who finally stood up for themselves or kids who have moved to a new school and were able to find their perfect friends straight away.
Nina: Brilliant.
Speaker C: Um, okay, I've got a story about a girl is in my mind so we'll call her Ms. K. Okay. So she was about 12 years old when we first met and she'd been at the same primary school for seven years. So like she'd been at the same school the whole time and her mum had said that she'd only been ever been invited to play dates maybe less than a handful of times in that seven years.
Nina: Wow.
Speaker C: She also had a younger sister who was like really outgoing, uh, and popular and had all the friends. So this 12 year old would often tag along with her sister's friends just so she had company. So we helped Ms. Kay to have a look at her personality and identify the types of friendships that she wanted, ones that would suit her. We helped to remember what an amazing human she is because she'd kind of forgotten that over seven years of feeling like she didn't fit in. Seven years of seeing her little sister make friendships easily. She was absolutely feeling quite down on herself. So then once we built her up, we taught her how to first of all look for the right friends for her.
Nina: Yep.
Speaker C: The ones that suited her personality again, the quieter, sensitive kids that are harder to find sometimes. Bit like diamonds. Ye and then came the time when she put all of her learning together, put it into action and so she's a hero of this story, not me at all. She's the one that did the real work and showed that real bravery and with encouragement and support from. Because she was part of our group programme. So the other kids in our group, amazing with their encouragement because she'd made friends with them. And so that's like, uh, even a first step because. Oh, okay. I can make friends within, like, our connected kids workshop group. So it's obviously not me because I've just made
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Speaker C: friendships with me.
Nina: Yeah. Amazing.
Speaker C: And then going from that point of making friends within our group, she took the leap and she made new friendships at school. Real authentic friendships. Who were her friends? Not her sister'friends and not just acquaintances or people that she tagged along with. They were her genuine friends. And I keep screenshots of messages that I get from, uh, parents up, uh, on my wall. And I'm just gonna read this one to youina.
Nina: Yeah, please do.
Speaker C: Uh, it says, my girl has found her sparkle. She now enjoys going to school and has her own friends who contact her out of school. This week I've dropped her off at two play dates with the same friend. She's been coming home with cards from friends. She's found her own actual real friends. Ah. Uh, I know.
Nina: Gives you goosebumps. Holy moly.
Speaker C: I know.
Nina: That's incredible.
Speaker C: And the best bit, you have to change who she is. No, she learn she deserved friendships and she learned how to get what she deserves.
Nina: Ok, Caaz, the work you do is amazing. And as you said, it's the child that does the work with inverted commas. But having a guide or a coach to set them on the right path is so important. So thank you for all the work that you do.
Speaker C: I love it. It lights me up.
Nina: I can see that.
Speaker C: I love doing you.
Nina: So as we finish up today, I always like to leave listeners with a small shift that they can make for a big impact. What's one simple thing a parent can try this week to gently support their child's friendships?
Speaker C: Okay, so one thing that we can do with our own children is make our starting point around validating their feelings. So, uh, when your child says, nobody wants to play with me, or they're telling you about a friendship difficulty, I know it's a really hard one as parents, but try to resist the urge to fix it.
Nina: Ye.
Speaker C: Or explain it away. Just taking a bit of time to pause and say, hey, that really sucks, or that sounds really rough. Yeah, I'm sorry you had to go through that. Or I'm sorry you felt that way today. I, uh, Know, as parents, we want to fix the world for our kids and then it comes from a loving place. But starting at that validation point. Yeah, when your child feels heard, they feel safe and that's the foundation of them having that social confidence and having that self belief and even offering them hope as well. So validation first but then offering the hope and reassuring them. Letting them know. Friendships can take time. Or you just haven't found your people yet. But I know you will. Yeah.
Nina: I think that validation piece is so important, isn't it? Uh, not just brushing over their feelings and you know, you do have friends. You do have friends. What about him? What? Her? But actually just listening and being there. Safe space for them to talk abouteah what's happening for them. Very important. Great. Thank you, Kaz. This has been a wonderful conversation. I can really see your passion shining through. And just hearing the story of Ms. K, it gave me goosebumps. It was awesome. Where can people connect with you or learn more about your programmes?
Speaker C: Okay, so if you, if you've been nodding along picking, uh oh, that's exactly what my I. Yeah, I was. Come and connect. I'd love to connect with you. So you can find out all the details about our Connected Kids workshop and specifically our Friendship one. We do run others as well on other topics and I work with kids with one to one support as well and also have an ongoing programme called Connected Kids Academy. So you can find all the details about that on my website, which is raincconnectkids.com.au I'm also on Instagram. I'm um, feeling my way around Instagram. So come and say hi or send me a DM Kids, um, underscore Emotional Wellbeing. And also we have a beautiful, beautiful free community, free Facebook group for parents called Kids Emotional Welling. I'd love for you to come and join us. You can scroll through our group for tips and guidance or ask questions. You can post questions anonymously. It's perfect for our sensitive kids.
Nina: And the beautiful mums are fantastic who.
Speaker C: Love them and support them.
Nina: Excellent. Brilliant.
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Nina: Well, we'll leave it there. Kz, thank you so much for your time today. I'm sure you've given some great tips and provided some support for all those parents that are just navigating their sensitive kids like I am. So thank you for your time.
Speaker C: Uh o I appreciate it, Nina, thanks for your time more. Also.
Nina: Thanks for listening to your calm parenting path. I am so glad you're here and I hope this episode gave you something useful to take into your parenting journey. If you'd like to dive deeper, sign up to my mailing list@mindfulparentinglifestyle.com.au for more tips and insights. Or book a free chat to learn how we can work together. And don't forget to hit, follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode. I look forward to speaking with you next time on your, um, calm parenting path.
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