Ep22. Why Do Parents Need a Village More Than Ever? with Natalie Ventura

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They say it takes a village to raise a child - but in today’s world, many parents find themselves trying to do it all alone. In this warm and honest conversation, host Nina Visic speaks with parent coach Natalie Ventura, founder of See Me Circle, about why building a parenting village is more important than ever.

Nina and Natalie first met through Hunter Clarke-Fields’ Mindful Parenting Teacher Training, where they both discovered the power of mindfulness, presence, and community.

In this episode, they reflect on what mindful parenting really looks like, how self-compassion helps reset after tough moments, and why being supported by a community of parents can make such a profound difference.

You’ll Learn:

• Why parents need a village now more than ever

• What mindful parenting looks like in everyday life

• How community helps ease guilt, shame, and overwhelm

• A simple self-compassion practice for tough parenting days

• How parenting book clubs and circles create lasting support

Why This Episode Matters

Parenting isn’t meant to be a solo journey. When we try to carry it all ourselves, we risk burnout, guilt, and disconnection. But when we create a parenting village - whether through circles, book clubs, or shared learning - we discover we’re not alone. This episode reminds us that parenting is a journey of growth best walked with others by our side.

Take Home Action

Try Natalie’s hands-on-heart practice: pause, place your hands on your heart, take a slow breath, and gently tell yourself, “It’s okay, we all make mistakes.” This small act of self-compassion can create big change in how you parent this week.

Take the Next Step

If you’d like more mindful parenting strategies, sign up for Nina’s mailing list at mindfulparentinglifestyle.com.au for weekly tips and insights. You can also book a free chat to see how we can work together to bring more calm and connection into your family life.

Links and Resources

• Visit Natalie Ventura’s website

• Check out See Me Circle on Facebook

• Hunter Clarke-Fields’ Mindful Parenting Teacher Training Program

• Books mentioned (affiliate links):

  • Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields

  • Motherhood: Facing and Finding Yourself by Lisa Marchiano

• Related podcast episodes:

  • Episode 3: Is This the Most Underrated Parenting Tool to Help You Stay Calm?

  • Episode 23: What Is Self-Compassion in Parenting, Really? Coming September 24^th.

Let’s Connect

• Follow Nina on Instagram

• Website: mindfulparentinglifestyle.com.au

• Email: nina@mindfulparentinglifestyle.com.au

About the Hosts

Nina Visic is a mindful parenting coach and mum of three energetic boys. Like many parents, she once felt caught in cycles of overwhelm, stress, and guilt - believing she had to do it all on her own.

Discovering mindful parenting, and later training with Hunter Clarke-Fields, gave Nina both the tools and the community she needed to find a calmer, more connected path forward.

Through her coaching, workshops, and this podcast, Nina helps parents find calm in the chaos, embrace imperfection, and build deeper connections with their children. She believes parenting isn’t about doing it all alone, but about finding support and creating small shifts that lead to big impact.

Natalie Ventura is a parent coach, holistic family consultant, and certified circle facilitator based in Melbourne.

A passionate believer in the healing power of community, Natalie is a wife and mum to two boys. She founded See Me Circle to empower parents through coaching, workshops, circles, and her inspiring parenting book club.

Both Nina and Natalie are trained mindful parenting coaches through Hunter Clarke-Fields’ Mindful Parenting Teacher Training. Together, they represent two voices in a growing global movement working to make parenting less isolating, more compassionate, and deeply connected.

Transcript

This transcript was created using Headliner. It has been copied and pasted but not proofread or edited, so it may contain errors or inaccuracies.

Episode 22 FINAL

Nina: You're listening to your calm parenting path. I'm your host, Nina, a mindful parenting coach and mum. M here to help you go from overwhelmed and reactive to calm, confident, and connected with your kids. This show is for parents who want to raise their children with more patience, less stress, and a whole lot more joy Pick because small shifts make a big impact and you can build the parenting life you've always wanted. If you want to see what I'm up to, follow me on Instagram mindful parenting lifestyle. And don't forget to hit, follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode. Let's get started.

Nina: Hello and welcome back to your calm parenting path. Today I'm joined by the wonderful Natalie Ventura, a parent coach, holistic family consultant, and passionate believer in the healing power of community. Natalie is a mum of two boys and the founder of See me Circle, where she supports parents through coaching workshops and her beautiful parenting book club. She sees parenting as a powerful path of personal growth, and I can't wait to dive into how we can all bring more mindfulness, connection, and self compassion into our homes. Natalie, welcome to your calm parenting path.

Natalie: Thank you so much, Nina. Uh, thanks for having me. Very excited.

Nina: It is all very exciting. Can you tell us a little bit about your own parenting journey and what led you to start see Me Circle?

Natalie: Yeah, sure. So about seven years ago, when my eldest was five and my youngest was two, I was really struggling as a parent. My eldest was having heaps of belt sounds all the time. My youngest was, like, out of control. It was like, uh, a whirlwind, just going, going, going. So, yeah, and I started to get really triggered a lot. I started to yell a lot. And it was something that I swore I would never do as a parent. So even though I was listening to, you know, all of these podcasts, um, reading all these books, and they all were like, a positive parenting, respectful parenting, um, lens. And I agreed with everything they were saying. I'm like, in the moment. It just all flew out the window. Oh, yeah. I just KE soriged and yell and then feels so bad afterwards and be like, oh, it's not like, I can't do this. It's not working. Like, what am I going to do? So I knew by that point, I'm like, oh, I can't do this alone. I've been trying to do it alone all of this time. So am I found the consciously parenting project, which offered monthly what they call healing story circles online.

Nina: Great.

Natalie: So that was basically a place where we'd meet once M a month online with it. It was a global community, so parents from around the world and we would just be able to share whatever was happening for us in that moment. No filter. Wow. You know, it’s total non judgement space. So everything was said was like, this is what's happening. Just let all out. And then the participants in the group would give reflection on what they heard. And so it was really a place to be seen and heard in, you know, what was going on for you. And I realised I'm not alone. Like this is. Yeah, other people are going through this too. And maybe what they shared wasn't the exact same situation as mine, but I could resonate with it. And I was like, um, yeah, okay, I'm not the worst mum in the world. Like that happens to other people too. And during that time then I was also doing Hunter' course a mindful parenting course. And so after about a year and a half of doing healing story circles online and having done hunters course, I was like, I really want to find my community in person. Y. I want that face to face connection. But I could not find anything. I was searching, I was looking and I was like, surely there must be something in person that is like this kind of model. But I couldn't find it. So, I'm like, okay, well I'll start my own.

Nina: Woooo.

Natalie: Sor. That's. That's how see me circle was born basically. Yeah.

Nina: Because that power of community can't be underestimated, can it?

Natalie: M Absolutely.

Nina: Online is great, but in person, one to one, you know, it's. It's amazing.

Natalie: Yes. Yeah. It's just completely different. Online is awesome. Especially during the COVID years. Yeah, I't actually need anyone. Yeah, it's amazing. And you get to meet, you know, we met online so we did.

Nina: Yeah.

Natalie: Know we live across the country.

00:05:00

Natalie: from each other so you get to meet all these amazing people you never would have met. I have, you know, friends like around the world now, which is fantastic. M But being in person is a completely different feel again.

Nina: Um, yeah, yeah, brilliant.

Natalie: I think they compliment each other well.

Nina: I think they do the online more for convenience, but the in person just for that little bit extra connection. Yeah.

Natalie: Correct. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nina: So for parents who are new to the idea of the conscious parenting, mindful parenting, what does this actually look like in everyday life?

Natalie: Yeah. So I would say it's about being present with what is instead of being focused on the future or stuck in the past. So I guess a real life example of that would Be when your child doesn't. I know this used to happen to me a lot. Thank goodness it's not. So nowadays. My, um, youngest would never want to get dressed for school. So I'd have to go in and he'd be pretty open to me dressing him. But in my head I'd be thinking, but you can dress yourself now.

Nina: Yeah.

Natalie: I shouldn't have to be doing this. Like, you know how to. So I would say mindful parenting is letting go of that story and just meeting your child where they are actually at, not where you want them to.

Nina: Be, which is being able to get themselves stressed.

Natalie: And that, that to me is probably what I would sum, uh, up mindful parenting to be.

Nina: That is such a good summary. Meeting your child where they're at, not where you want them to be. Ye.

Natalie: Yeah.

Nina: How do you find that this attitude supports both parent and child?

Natalie: Yeah. Well, it makes you not feel like this clenching, like still it already, like, let's move on with our lives here. Ah. So it gives you a bit of space to be, okay, this is just what's happening now. Um, I can deal with this right now or I can be with this right now. And, um, your child feels that as well. Because when you're, when you're meeting them like this, like, hurry up through clenched teeth, and they feel that energy of you just wanting them to just do the thing as opposed to being open and. Okay, okay, we'll get dressed. This is what we need to do right now. And I'll be here with you in that. It's a much more supportive environment. Yeah. And you get a lot more cooperation that way as well, I found.

Nina: Yeah, definitely.

Natalie: Yeah. It's a funny thing about that, isn't it?

Nina: Yeah.

Natalie: When you try to control them, it doesn't actually work too well. Yeah.

Nina: Because, I mean, and you think about it, if someone tries to control us, if an adult tries to tell us exactly how to do something, uh, and to do it in their time frame, not our timeframe.

Natalie: Yeah.

Nina: You could just imagine how it makes us feel if we were put in that same situation. If our boss puts us there or our partner puts us there, or our mother in law, for example.

Natalie: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. It's so true. Yeah, it's so true.

Nina: So circling back, you're a big advocate for community.

Natalie: Uh-huh.

Nina: Why is it so important that we don't try to do parenting alone?

Natalie: Yeah, I would say we're not mentioned do it alone. You know, it's that, that old saying, it takes a village to raise a child. And it's really only in the last you couple of hundred years that we've started to be doing it on our own. And we're really. When we're living in all of our separate little houses, we're separating ourselves and not understanding that parenting is a community effort. M When we don't see that, we think, I'm doing something wrong. This is only, you know, my child. There must be something wrong with them because they're not behaving how I, um, quote, unquote we want them to behave. And we can get into most of the thoughts are negative thoughts when we're in community. And we can say, oh, that child behaves that way as well. Oh, uh, that mum, like, sometimes gets down on herself too. Like, I'm not the only one who thinks like that. It can really shift and, you know, create a much more kind of positive atmosphere as well.

Nina: And I guess you're really experienced that when you started your monthly healing circles, realising that you weren't alone.

Natalie: Absolutely, absolutely. That was probably the biggest thing that, that I really took away from. It was like, m not alone because before that I just thought, I'm just the worst mum m ever. Like, I must be doing something completely wrong here because I'm, quote, unquote, doing what I meant to be doing and somehow it's not working. So what's wrong with me? Yeah.

Nina: And the number of people that I've spoken to that they think, oh, my neighbours must think I'm the worst.

Natalie: Yes.

Nina: You know, they. You always assume that your neighbours can hear you. Your neighbours hear you

00:10:00

Nina: yelling. They think you're the worst. And that shame and that guilt really comes out then, doesn't it? And you just think, yeah, I'm the only one on my street that yells. Or I'm the only mu at school drop off that's having a hard time.

Natalie: Yes.

Nina: But when you take a moment to pause and you realise, actually they've probably all had a really tough morning. And I think as parents we need to talk about this more. I think there's so much. It's not competition, but it's a feeling that you have to be at a certain level. And I think if it was more open to be talked about, not just to your close friends, but more commonly and more openly, I think it would make life a lot easier for parents. Do you agree?

Natalie: Absolutely, 100%. And it's like you said, it is a bit of a rare thing that you have these conversations in a kind of broader context. Because you might have a bit of that fear of being judged or if you say something, you know, someone might think badly of you but the fact of the matter is they've probably done the exact same thing that you've done.

Nina: Yeah, exactly.

Natalie: I'm pretty sure nearly everyone has yelled at their child at some point in their life. All thoughts. I am just the worst mu ever. Like that was a really bad decision that I made there. M so the more we can normalise it. Ah yeah. And they yeah, this is actually like it's our society that's making us think we're meant to be all of these wonderful things and you know, especially for me layer on top of that being a parent coach like oh yeah, I must have to be like this appear standard.

Nina: But I.

Natalie: What I've found helpful too is hearing other parent coaches go I don't have to be perfect. And I'm like that clear. It's this permission that we shouldn't need but we feel like we do. It's okay. Yeah, meant to be perfect. And just because you know, me and you and parent coaches doesn't mean that we are at some higher standard that someone else isn't. You know, we're still humans make mistakes.

Nina: Yeah, that's exactly right. And I feel that way as well sometimes. And I, I feel like, you know, if I've had a bad morning, I feel I can't share it with other people. But I had a bad morning this morning. The kids annoyed me, I got crossed. And that's okay.

Natalie: Yes.

Nina: When we've had those tough moments, it's about how we react and how we respond.

Natalie: Mhm.

Nina: After they've occurred.

Natalie: Yes.

Nina: So if you're talking to a parent that's had a rough morning at school gates, you can see they're struggling. What kind of things would you say to them to help them get through those feelings of guilt and shame?

Natalie: Yeah. This is something that I tell my clients and my parents all the time is to do this very simple practise which I learned from Hunter. So I'm sure you've shared it before. Just put your hands on your heart and just if it's available you can close your eyes and you can just say it's okay my love. We all make mistakes, you know, you're human, like we said. And take a few deep breaths. Sometimes people feel a bit weird about talking to themselves. I'm one of those people who love talking to themselves. So you can even just placing your hands on your heart does enough. And taking a breath like A nice deep breath in and a long, slow exhale. If you practise that when you've had those rough moments. I used to do this all the time at the start of my parenting journey.

Nina: Ye.

Natalie: Yeah, it was so, so helpful. And now I don't really need to do it so much anymore, but.

Nina: M still.

Natalie: I still. It's still there when I need it, so that's what.

Nina: Yeah, it's a really great tip. And if we do that and our kids see us doing that as well.

Natalie: Ye.

Nina: You got that role modelling as well. So they know that when they're having big angry thoughts or having a bad day, that that's something that they can do to help.

Natalie: Yeah.

Nina: Which I think is great. When you see your kids do that after a tough moment, that's really awesome.

Natalie: Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Sometimes you might need to take yourself away. That's true. But you can also do it absolutely in the moment when you can just feel that bit of resentment, that bit of anger, frustration building. You're okay and. Yeah. Ye. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.

Nina: Great. Thank you. Now, I love that you run a parenting book club. Can you tell us a little bit about how your book club works and the kind of impact that it's had on parents?

Natalie: Yeah, sure. So book club all started. The mindful parenting book club all started after I ran one of my mindful parenting workshops. And people were like, this is so good. Can we keep going somehow? And I'm like, okay, maybe we can. Because Hunter talks about a lot of books in her course that she recommends to read. I said, how about we start with Hunter's book Raising Good Humans, and we can go

00:15:00

Natalie: through that, and then we can go through, you know, some of the other teachers that she talks about, like Dan Siegel, and let's work our way through those books. So that's how it started. And it's been. Parents have loved it because it's that connection, that monthly connection to, like, check in. Am, um, I still on track? Am I still where I want to be with my parenting? Uh, something happened. It was kind of hard. And I read this and this kind of help and other people offering supports throughout the book clubs. So it's been really, really beneficial. Yeah, I've really, really enjoyed it and I love reading books, so it's like, perfect.

Nina: Do you have any favourite books or any that sparked really powerful conversations that you've talked about?

Natalie: It's hard to pick a favourite because there's so many. But I would say the one I was thinking about is the one that sparked the most conversation. What uh, I'd have to say was it's called Motherhood Facing and Finding Yourself by Lisa Much hon know, it was very, very powerful. It, it can go a little bit dark in some places, but because of that we were able to have really a really deep discussion about, you know, all of these kind of hidden layers of motherhood as well. All these parts that I kind of spoke about briefly before like I must be the worst mum ever. Like this was a mistake in't have I shouldn't actually be a mum to these kids. Like this is not. And it's something that doesn't often get talked about at all. Um, even with your closest friends. Like we. A really, yeah, really great discussion around that and I highly recommend the book. Yeah.

Nina: So yes, I'll put a link to that one in the show note so people can find it.

Natalie: Awesome.

Nina: Ye, that sounds really interesting. I've not heard of that one. But you know, the more we share and we have these conversations, the better it is for everybody.

Natalie: Yeah.

Nina: Getting this stuff out in the open I think is really important.

Natalie: Absolutely, absolutely. I find I listen to the to podcasts where they interview an author. I'm like, oh, that book sounds so good. So that's why I have long lists of books that I want to read. Same. But um, I'm slowly getting there.

Nina: Yeah, there's so many to get through and each one, even though they kind of focus on slightly different topics, the message is ultimately the same, isn't it? Like the outcome at the end is the same, but it's just different avenues and ways to get there.

Natalie: Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. It's all a personal growth.

Nina: It is all personal growth.

Natalie: It's all a discovery. Yep.

Nina: Uh, you often think that you're not just raising your children, you're raising yourself as well, aren't you?

Natalie: Yeah, absolutely. And I 100% believe that. Yeah, this has been a journey for me and I'm a completely different person than I am never before I had kids. So yeah, definitely be a big learning curve and a big, um, um, personal growth journey for me.

Nina: Yeah, yeah, same. Fantastic. So to finish up, Natalie, what's one small shift that you suggest our listeners try this week? So something simple but powerful that can help create a big impact in their parenting.

Natalie: Mhm. I think I will say the hands on the heart m when things get tough because it really is just incredibly powerful. So you know, if it's whether it's in the moment or you need to take yourself away, you know, just place Both your hands on your heart. Close your eyes if you want. Speak kindly to yourself. Um, and just take a few deep breaths. And if you did that every day, you will see a massive change. And I know that because I've seen it happen. So I would say yeah. And it's so quick and easy to do. You just need to remember to do it.

Nina: That's all's it.

Natalie: That's the hardest part. But once you get into that habit, it's really easy and really accessible. Yeah.

Nina: And that's where the mindfulness comes in, isn't it? The mindfulness allows you to remember more easily to do those things.

Natalie: Yes, absolutely.

Nina: And we've talked about that in past episode, so hopefully you can go back and find those episodes if you need to look. Thank you so much Natalie. One I guess last question is where can listeners connect with you, Learn more about your coaching and book club or join one of your circles?

Natalie: Yeah, so you can find me on my website seemecircle.com you can also find me on Facebook which is also see me circle so you can follow me there. I've got all my events listed there. Ways to do one on one coaching with me pinned to the top of the page so you can check out all of those things there.

Nina: They will be in the show notes. Thank you so much Natalie. I look forward to chatting again soon.

Natalie: Thanks so much. Thanks for having me.

Nina: Thanks

00:20:00

Nina: for listening to your calm parenting path. I am so glad you're here and I hope this episode gave you something useful to take into your parenting journey. If you'd like to dive deeper, sign up to my mailing list@mindfulparentinglifestyle.com.au for more tips and insights or book a free chat to learn how we can work together. And don't forget to hit, follow or subscribe so you never miss an epis. I look forward to speaking with you next time on your calm parenting path.

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