Ep11. Tired of Doing It All? What Needs to Change? With Eva Rado

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In this empowering episode, Eva Rado shares how her re-WHYR Communication Framework is helping families shift from frustration and burnout to fairness and collaboration.

We talk through the invisible mental load many mums carry, practical ways to have those tricky conversations, and why it’s so important to break old gender roles that still play out in modern homes.

You’ll Learn

• What the re-WHYR Communication Framework is and how to use it

• Why the mental load is more than just chores

• How to approach your partner and kids without blame

• The power of regular family “reviews” to build accountability

• Simple ways to start involving kids in household management from a young age.

Why This Episode Matters

Even in homes where both parents work, many mums are still doing the lion’s share of managing the household. This episode shines a light on that imbalance and offers a new way forward - one that’s built on shared responsibility, respectful communication, and practical tools that work.

Take Home Action

Choose one thing in your home that isn’t working for you. Use the “W” and “H” from the re-WHYR framework to start a gentle conversation:

• What’s working / what’s not?

• How is it impacting you—and others?

  
  

Then get curious and, explore new solutions together.

Take the Next Step

Feeling ready to make a change but not sure where to start? Book a 60-minute SOS Parenting Support Call with me to talk through a challenge you're facing at home and get a personalised strategies you can start using straight away. Use the code SOSPATH on check out to save 50%.

You can also sign up for my newsletter at mindfulparentinglifestyle.com.au for weekly mindful parenting tips, podcast updates, and free resources delivered straight to your inbox.

Curious about how to put the re-WHYR Framework into practice? Head to evarado.com to learn more about Eva’s 1:1 coaching and her small group programs that support mums who feel like they are 'doing it all,,' in building shared responsibility at home.

Links and Resources Mentioned

• Learn more about the re-WHYR Framework on Eva Rado’s website: evarado.com

• Follow Eva on Instagram & Facebook

• Follow Nina on Instagram

  
  

About the Hosts

Nina Visic is a certified mindful parenting coach, founder of Mindful Parenting Lifestyle, and mum to three energetic boys. With a background in teaching mindfulness to both children and adults, Nina is passionate about helping parents move from overwhelm and reactivity to calm, confident connection.

Through her 1:1 coaching, digital resources, and this podcast, Nina supports parents who want to raise their kids with less stress and more intention. Her work is grounded in the belief that parenting isn’t about being perfect - it’s about being present, staying curious, and making small, sustainable shifts that create big impact over time.

As the only girl in her household, Nina often says, “Just because I’m the only girl in the house doesn’t mean I do all the jobs” - a mindset she applies not just to chores, but to challenging gender norms and creating more balanced, respectful family dynamics.

Nina brings warmth, honesty, and real-life experience to every conversation—reminding parents they’re not alone, and that there’s always a way forward.

Eva Rado is a household equity advocate, speaker, and the creator of the re-WHYR Communication Framework. With over 23 years of experience in small business and a lived understanding of motherhood’s mental load, Eva helps mums turn household management into a shared household responsibility.

After experiencing burnout from trying to do it all herself, she now supports families to create more balanced, respectful homes - where everyone contributes and no one carries the load alone. Eva lives in Melbourne with her husband and two daughters.

Transcript

This transcript was created using Headliner. It has been copied and pasted but not proofread or edited, so it may contain errors or inaccuracies.

>> Nina: You're listening to your calm parenting path. I'm your host, Nina, a mindful parenting coach and mum m here to help you go from overwhelmed and reactive to calm, confident and connected with your kids. This show is for parents who want to raise their children with more patience, less stress and a whole lot more joy. Pick because small shifts make a big impact and you can build the parenting life you've always wanted. If you want to see what I'm up to, follow me on Instagram Mindful parenting lifestyle. And don't forget to hit, follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode. Let's get started. Welcome back to your calm parenting path. Today's guest is someone who truly gets what it means to juggle motherhood and entrepreneurship. And she's here to help us stop doing it all alone. Eva Rado started her career in the corporate world, but quickly realised her heart was in creating something of her own. Over the past 23 years, she's built, grown and worked in small businesses, all while raising two gorgeous girls and running a household. After personally experiencing the overwhelm that comes with carrying the mental load at home, Even now supports mum entrepreneurs to turn household management into a shared household responsibility. And while Eva focuses her work on helping mum entrepreneurs, I really think there is a lot to gain from this conversation for all mums, whether they're running their own business, uh, the main caregiver at home, or even working full time in an office. She's the creator of the Rewire communication framework, which is a powerful tool that's helping families redistribute the load and rewrite the rules at home. Eva, I am so excited to have you here. Welcome to the show.

>> Eva Rado: Thank you so much, Nina. I am really excited to be here and have this chat with you.

>> Nina: I am too. Now, I know we're going to explore some kind of big themes today around gender roles and that invisible mental load. Yes, so many mums carry. But I'd really love to start with your Rewire communication framework. It is such a unique and empowering tool. Can you tell us what it is and how it's helping mums to shift the dynamic at home?

>> Eva Rado: Absolutely. So it's a collaborative communication framework that I've come up with through my work with mums over the last few years and it's basically a four step process that helps mum to change the way she communicates in the household and allow the whole household to work together and so that they can operate as a community where everybody gets a buy in, everybody gets the opportunity to have their say. And it's not one person dictating how things need to be done for it to work for everybody.

>> Nina: Oh, I love this. I love this. What was your idea? Where did the framework come from? Was it based on your personal experience?

>> Eva Rado: A little bit of it all. So, yes, I experienced my own overwhelm, um, and ended up in burnout. And as I crawled out of that, one of the things I looked at and came to realise was that how I was being mum in the house was big part of how I ended up in such. Such a state of overwhelm, and that that needed to shift and needed to change. And so one of the first things I started to look at was the way that I was communicating. And then in growing the work that I do with other mums and having them practise the things that I had been trying in my own home, that. That then developed into this framework, this very concise four steps.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: That make a huge difference and a huge impact in every household that I've seen it implemented. Oh, uh, fantastic.

>> Nina: So I guess the next question is, Eva, can you take us through the four steps, tell us what they are so we can have some magic in our how too?

>> Eva Rado: Absolutely, yes. So it is the rewire. And whyire is an acronym. It's the word Y why with an R at the end.

>> Nina: Nice.

>> Eva Rado: And if you remember why, uh, spelled that way, you'll never forget the four steps. W stands for what? So what is working and what isn't working? So, uh, in this case of household management, it could be as simple as, I love that you guys help set the table, but it really doesn't work for me that I'm left to do the dishes on my own every night. Right. Right. So what is working? What is not working? H is how does that impact. So how does that impact you as the person who's bringing up that there's this thing that's not working? But more importantly, how does that impact the others in the household?

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: And not just from the perspective of how do I think it impacts you. Right. But also from a standpoint of curiosity, I'd really like to know how that experience is for you. So, you know, when I'm left washing the dishes on my own every night, I end up cranky and tired and frustrated and lonely, and that makes me feel horrible. And I feel like. I mean, being a really cranky mum, which I imagine is really difficult for you, and it seems to me like I'm being really unfair. But how is that for you? Wow.

>> Nina: Okay.

>> Eva Rado: Yeah. So that's the H. Yep. Uh, the Y is about. Yes. So first of all, we need to get agreement that there is something here that needs to be fixed or something that isn't working. So, and having this part of this first two steps of the conversation, hopefully everyone else starts to see that this is something that is not working for at least one person in the house.

>> Nina: Yes.

>> Eva Rado: But also by having that curiosity part of that age conversation, they can start to see how it doesn't work for them as well. Yeah. And when they agree that this is something that needs to be fixed, then, then we can all together come up and do some brainstorming and come up with different options and suggestions of how we could make it work differently and create the system and the process and something that we can all agree on. Come back to that. Yes. Yes. This is the one that we're going to try. This is what we think would work in our house. And R is for review. And this is the part that most people, most human beings forget when they're working through a difficulty, a conflict. Uh, any kind of, you know, conversation where needs to be fixed is once you've set, uh, up what you're going to do differently, it's really important to come back and review that after a certain amount of time. Agreed. And in that initial conversation, it's important that you set the, the time together of what's going to work to come back and have the review.

>> Nina: Yes.

>> Eva Rado: So that you come back and then say, okay, so we've done this now for two weeks. We tried this system. Is it working better? Is it working for everybody? What's still not working? What do we need to tweak? How do we make it better?

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: And that's, that's basically the four steps.

>> Nina: Four steps. That check in piece is so important, isn't it? We talk about that in mindful parenting as well. When you've solved a conflict or, you know, made a decision, actually checking back in to see if it's working. Because without that piece, nothing is going to change. Nothing is gonna there'be someone else that has something that they're not happy with or you agree that everything's going well and everyone's happy and you know, things are going a lot better and you've got that kind of closure of this is working now.

>> Eva Rado: Correct.

>> Nina: But then I guess even as the kids get older, it's still important to check in because their kind of views and opinions change. So. Yeah, I really like how you implement that into the process.

>> Eva Rado: Yes, exactly.

>> Nina: So I Can imagine that some mums s listening might feel nervous or a bit resentful when it comes to starting some of these conversations. How does your framework support them emotionally and practically?

>> Eva Rado: I love, I love having this part of the conversation, Nina, because.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: Because most mums at some point we've come to the point where we realise it's not working. It's not working for us. I mean we, you know, we're doing it all, we're having it all and we've probably tried. Most mums I come across, I've tried quite a few different things. I mean I went through that hole. I'm going to sit them down and tell them they're old enough to help me. I googled what chores can my 10 year old do. I, you know, I went through the whole process, created pretty chore charts, came down from on high. This is, this is the system we're going to use and this is, you know, because I know best and I'm um, mum y and it's not working for me so I'm going to fix it by making you do. Yeah. And this is, this is what creates that nervousness and that anxiety around having the conversation. Because we're so used to responding to our difficulties and our what's not working that way and we're used to that they will respond back effectively in the only way that they can because m. They feel they're being attacked.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: Whereas this rewire framework, coming at it from the standpoint of this is really working and this isn't working. It's no longer a personal attack. It's not um, you're not doing this or you're not helping me or you're not good enough.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: It's just the way that we all manage this doesn't work for me. Right.

>> Nina: It's taking the you out of the conversation, isn't it?

>> Eva Rado: Very much. Very much taking the you out of the conversation and it means that you're opening up for everybody to have a say and a buy in and it's perfectly al right for everyone else to say, well it works for us, it works for me. I don't need it changed. Right. Because it's not about being right or wrong.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: It's about human beings living together and cohabitating in a way that is a community for everybody. Mhm. And so I think just, just having that first step of starting with the what is working and what isn't working. Not about who's to blame and who's at fault but just what, what the facts are what the scenario is.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: Means that it relieves that pressure of having to bring up something that is bad or negative or wrong or, or that someone is seen to be doing wrong.

>> Nina: Yeah. It empowers every member of the family to have a sayct to be part of the decision making. That's why I like it so much.

>> Eva Rado: Yes.

>> Nina: And I guess that was my next question. Do you have uh, an age range that you typically start using your framework? My kids are 8, 4 and 6. So are they too little, too old?

>> Eva Rado: Perfect. So the minute, the minute that they start voicing their own opinion is the time you can start the conversation.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: You might have it in a smaller way. Obviously with a four year old you're not going to say look, it really doesn't work for me when you throw your towel on the floor and you know, and it's because it makes me really angry that I have to pick you. You're not going to go into the whole thing but you are going to start by saying when I have to bend down and pick up your towel it starts to hurt my back. So do you think there's something we can do um, though that I don't have to pick it up every time?

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: And it might be as simple as the four year old saying I can hand it to you Mummy.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: Right. And at that age, at, at that stage that is the perfect like solution. Right. You're not going to get, get them to hang it up on the towel round necessarily but they can have a part in it. The thing though to remember is no matter what age they are, when you're starting this new form of communication, they're going to be probably quite shocked. Like you've never talked to them like this before. You've only ever said hey, your towel doesn't go on the floor, could pick it up. Right.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: So no matter how old they are, in fact the older they are, the more shocking and more unusual as sound I can imagine. And the more they react in a way that s seems almost like who are you and what did you do with my mum? And so we've got to remember that this is a new habit and a new way of being both for us and for the family. So the early we start the better because it's less of a shock.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: But it means that no matter how old the family member is that we're having a m conversation with, it's always important to remember that a we've been thinking about this thing that's not working for some time. Yep. This is out of the blue for them. And B, they've never had to come up with solutions with them. You've always just told them and given them what the solution is. So come with one or two solutions, you know. So in the case of the four year old with the towel on the floor, it could be so it really hurts mummy's back. So what could we do? Do you think you could pick it up and hand it to me or do you think maybe instead of throwing it on the floor, you could put it over the tower, over the bath? Mmm, right. Like you give them a couple of solutions of ideas, particularly when they're that young, obviously. But even at they're older and it's something new and it gives them the opportunity to start that springboard brainstorming ideas.

>> Nina: And then I guess the review would come in if they did it the first day and then they forgot the days after that, that's when you would come back with that review.

>> Eva Rado: Yeah. So the way iorporate the review is it's more like, let's try this for a week. This is something that happens every day. Let's try this for a week. Let's come back in a week. And also remembering the new habit of putting the towel over the bath is a new habit. So it's going to need some reminder. Right. So the first day they'll do it because you ve just had the conversation. Second day they put on the floor and say, hey, weren't you going to put it on the bar instead of on the floor?

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: Right. And then it might be, you know, the next day they remember and they do it themselves and it's that positive reinforcement. Oh, thanks for remembering. Because I'd forgotten that we were doing that now. Right?

>> Nina: Yes, yes.

>> Eva Rado: Uh, again, depending on the age, that's perfect for a four year old. You know, you wouldn't say that to a 12 year old. Right. They'd feel like you're teaching them to them, like they're that.

>> Nina: Right?

>> Eva Rado: Yeah. You'd say, oh, oh, thanks for remembering. I really appreciate that I don't have to bend down today to pick it up. Right. Beautiful, whatever the story is. But then at the end of the week you come back and you say, right, so we've tried this for a week. How many days did it work? How many days did I have to remind you? Does that annoy you that I remind you it be much better for me that I don't have to bend down and hurt my back? Y m, you know, what's the next Step kind of thing. Yes. You know, and then again, review is also important as they get older. Like if you start that with the four year old, by the time they're at and can reach the towel rail, you're going to have had that transition. Exactly. And that review might be. So you can reach now. So how about we start seeing if you can remember to put it on the tower rail. M. Right. And then I can have time to go and warm your bed up before you come and read stories or whatever, you know.

>> Nina: Yeah, yeah.

>> Eva Rado: So, yes, review is important at hoc, but this new way of communicating, it's important that you set the review on a given time, that you all agree you're going to come back and it's in the dry the family diary. And on Friday night at dinner, we're going to talk about how the dishes have been going for the last week.

>> Nina: Love that.

>> Eva Rado: So that it's not onerous in that it's one person has to remember it. Number one.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: Number two, it's not one person always coming back in 24 hours and saying, hey, we were going to put the towel up. Right. But it also means that everybody's got time to build the habit and to see.

>> Nina: Yeah. I love that.

>> Eva Rado: You know how it works not just for the once in the first day, but ye over a period of time.

>> Nina: To see if it's spilled up, if it's worked overall. And putting it on the calendar takes away the mum's role of having to reinforce. This is when we're having our meeting or our chat, you know, and I think that's really great as well.

>> Eva Rado: Yes, yes, I know.

>> Nina: My boys love looking at the calendar and seeing what we've got on. They'll always tell me what's on for the day. So I think, you know, that's a really great thing to do.

>> Eva Rado: That's fantastic.

>> Nina: So what about partners? So what's the best way to bring them into the conversation without it feeling like a blame or a criticism?

>> Eva Rado: It's very much the same framework, only I usually recommend that you that mum starts having the conversation with partners before the kids so that we get them on board.

>> Nina: Right.

>> Eva Rado: And you come as a united front to this new way of running the household, managing the household. So it's very often, uh, just about having that very starting open conversation. Listen, things around here are actually stressing me out. I don't know if you've noticed that I've been a little bit on edge, but I'm getting overwhelmed with everything that's on my plate and it's not about you taking things off my plate. It's about how we manage this household together. And I feel like there's a way for us that we could do it better. So it's not. I don't feel like it's all on my shoulders.

>> Nina: Yes.

>> Eva Rado: And again, remembering that, you know, they are used to it being a blame game. So even when you frame it that way, I've had so many mums come back to me go, yeah, he just started listing off how he does the bins and he mows the lawn and.

>> Nina: He, you know, it's a competition.

>> Eva Rado: It's a competition, right? Yeah. Ah. And that's also. You've got to remember that's their preconditioning as a male. That's their jobs. And they, uh, they're preconditioned that they go out to work, they bring in the money and they do these few things around the house and that's all they need to do. So what we're trying to do is change that gender preconditioning by being kind and calm and gentle and remembering that. So it's very easy when he says, yeah, but I do the bins and go, yeah. And that's all you do. Well, that, you know, that's one response. But if we want things to change, then we need to change. So if that's their response, when you start that conversation, if that's their response, then it's valuable to then say, I get that and I understand that. I'm just trying to share with you my experience. Um, my experience is that I am feeling overwhelmed with all the things I have to remember, all the things that go on here from in a day to day basis that I need to manage and I need to earn an income and work M. And I just, I want to not feel like this. It's not about what you do do. It's not about what you don't do. It's about how I'm feeling and how that's not working for me.

>> Nina: It's about getting curious as well, isn't it? What you've mentioned at the start?

>> Eva Rado: A hundred percent, yeah. It is very much about getting curious. So, you know, I'm feeling overwhelmed. I feel like I'm stressed. Is that your experience of me at the moment?

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: Do I feel more cranky to you?

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: I don't want to be like that. I don't want our relationship to be like that. I'm coming to you so that we can workshop that. And this is some of the things I'VE been thinking about or hearing about, or the work I've been doing with some coaches or whatever it is that you. Wherever you're at, the things I've been reading, I'd like to implement them and this is what I'd like to do. But I wanted to talk to you before I talked to the kids. I wanted to talk to you and I wanted you to understand where it's coming from. And I want you to catch me if I go back to being old police mum.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: I want you to catch me. I don't want to do that anymore. I want you to be my. My fallback. You know, we're a team. I want us to fix this as a teen.

>> Nina: Yeah, no, uh, that's fantastic. On that topic, do you think there's still lots of traditional gender roles within the household, even when both parents are going to work? Can you speak on that for a moment, Eva?

>> Eva Rado: Uh, 100%. I could speak on that for hours. You know, we still live in a society where Mum is seen as the number one carer and Mum is seen as the number one housekeeper. And, you know, who does school call when the kids are sick?

>> Nina: Right, Exactly.

>> Eva Rado: Who. Who do the kids call when they forgotten their trumpet? M. Right. When they're at school and they've got music but they haven't got their trumpet, what do our partners do when they realise they won't have time to pick up their dry cleaning? Right. Who do they call? Like, what do they do? Right. But do we call them? Right. And it's that traditional stereotype of, you know. Yeah. We might ring them and say, hey, on your way home, can you pick up the milk? What's the chance that they're actually going to come home with the milk? Right. Y. Yeah. Uh, but that's a stereotype and age gender bias that he exists in our society that we still carry in our homes. And that whole thing of, yeah, he does the bins.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: He mows the lawn. Right. You know, he changes the smoke detector batteries and the light bulbs. Right. Everything else. Who does the cooking? Who does the washing? Who does the cleaning? M. Who organises all of the appointments?

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: Who does it fall to? To?

>> Nina: You know, it's often the mental load that can be more than the physical tasks, isn't it?

>> Eva Rado: It's the mental load. 100%.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: And it's the mental load that's going on at the same time. I don't know if you've seen. But then there are these reels around where, you know, there's mum folding the laundry, right? But she's not just folding the laundry. Like, if he was folding the laundry again, this is a stereotype, right? But if you gave him the basket of washing to fold and he said, I'm happy to fold it, right, he'll sit in front of the tv, the sports, whatever, and he'll just fold it and things will end up in the wrong person's pile because he's not even really paying attention, right?

>> Nina: Doesn't know who belongs to what, but.

>> Eva Rado: Who belongs to what. And even in our house, we've labelled every piece of clothing, has got the initials so that he can fold it and it still ends up in the wrong pile because he's not present, whereas Mum's folding the wash and go, oh, that's got a terrible stain on it. I'll have to replace that top. No, she's grown out of that one. Um. Uh, think. I think we might get two more wears at it. But I have to remember to get another pair of shorts before the hot weather's hits because. Yeah, yeah, it's all of that stuff that's going on. And even if the TV's on, um, while unfolding the washing, I'm still thinking these things at the same time.

>> Nina: Wow. I never realised, but I. I am exactly like that. That's exactly what I do. It's like, oh, I'll have to put this in the recycle pile.

>> Eva Rado: And that's the overwhelm. That's what creates it. And generally, males in our society have not been raised and not been conditioned to think that way while they're doing tasks. Women have.

>> Nina: Wow.

>> Eva Rado: It's just what we saw our mums do. It's what we were expected to do, even as kids. Like, I grew up in a house where the talk was all gender equality. That's all we talked about all the time. However, my brother didn't have to do the things that I had to do. Wow. My mother didn't do. I observed my mum doing everything, even though she worked full time, even though we talked about, you know, Emily Pankhurst and the other fantastic Virginia Woolf, the amazing, you know, feminists and suffragettes. We grew up learning their stories. We knew about all the fantastic opportunities that were available to me, but it was still because I was a woman and I still had to do things in the house that my brother didn't have to do. M. Because of that conditioning.

>> Nina: I've got some friends that have told me that growing up, their mum would wait till everyone had eaten before she ate and that was bizarre to me because I think I feel like I grew up in a household that was very. A lot more equal than I've seen in other families. And the thought that my mum would have to wait, stand at the back of the room before she could eat her meal when she'd been the one that prepared. It was such a shock.

>> Eva Rado: My mum. Yeah. Would serve everyone else and then serve her plate and then sit down and we'd all be eating before she ate. It was never a requirement. Wait for mum. You know, I love that idea that the person serving serves themselves last because that's, that's, that's a sign of respect to the other people at the table. But in our house, it's not mum who serves, it's whoever's cooked.

>> Nina: Whoever's cooked.

>> Eva Rado: Right. So nowband, my husband cooks once a week. He serves and he eats last on that night. Right?

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: But even that, the idea got warped behind it.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: You know, the idea is like, you know, you're playing card, right. If you're the dealer, you deal yourself last. It's the same. You're serving, you serve yourself last. Right. But Mum is the only one who's ever cooking.

>> Nina: She's the one that serves last.

>> Eva Rado: She's the one that's always served last.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: So it's interesting. Yeah. Where these preconditionings come from, what they were intended for and how they've been altered and walked into being something completely different and a complete gender bias. And it's up to us to now acknowledge them, notice them and shift them.

>> Nina: Yes.

>> Eva Rado: And make the changes. And it's not about the fact that my two kids are girls, that they have to do things. Um, it's just as important that they say that their dad is doing things that I never saw my dad do. Because it's not about them just learning the skills, it's about them learning that when they have their own home, it doesn't have to be up to them.

>> Nina: Yeah. And that's really. I feel that quite a lot, Eva, because I have three boys and I feel like it's important to teach them the same. Exactly the same thing. My husband does the cooking and I clean the kitchen.

>> Eva Rado: Yes.

>> Nina: And then if I cook, which I don't cook very often, let's be honest, it swaps. So I'll do the cooking and he'll clean the kitchen.

>> Eva Rado: Perfect.

>> Nina: And I think that showing them that, uh, and teaching them, uh, that just because I'm the only girl in the house doesn't mean that I do all the jobs.

>> Eva Rado: Exactly.

>> Nina: And I think this framework that you've created is a great way to empower them so that when they do have their own families, they're well aware that it's not just one person, whether a male or a female, that does everything. We're giving them the skills that they need, uh, to grow.

>> Eva Rado: That's exactly right. So it's one thing that, you know, we give them the skills and we teach them so they can go into a share house or, you know, or a relationship and have their own home and know how to do these things. It's another thing to role model for them that it's not a gender divide, it's a person.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: Fairness. Right?

>> Nina: Yes.

>> Eva Rado: And having three boys, like, it's really important as they grow older and they start doing some of the cooking, that it's not you that's always cleaning up when they cook. And it's. Yes, because that's true. That would still just perpetuate. You're the girl. Mhm. Right. You're the female, you're the one that does the cleaning up if he cooks. Right. Whereas if, you know, the oldest one cooks and the middle one cleans up and the youngest one sets the table and you clear the table that night. Right.

>> Nina: And we share all the different aspects.

>> Eva Rado: All the different aspects, regardless of age, gender. Um, just keeping in mind dexterity, capability, mental capacity, of course, whether that's an age thing or whether it's because, you know, you've got extra workload on or M. Huubies travelling for work or whatever it is, you know, or when they get older, one of them's got exams this week and the other one doesn't. Right, yeah. All of that practicising humanity.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: It's not about gender, it's not about the body parts they were born with.

>> Nina: Oh, I love this. Eva. I feel like at the end of every podcast that I listen to when there's a guest, they always say, oh, I could talk for you for hours. Yes. And I actually feel like I could do that today, but we probably need to end it there. But I do have one more question.

>> Eva Rado: Sure.

>> Nina: And that is that, uh, if there's a mum listening, what's just one step this week that she could take towards sharing the household load? What would you recommend?

>> Eva Rado: So I always say that you have to start by knowing where you're starting. So it's really easy in the overwhelm to just want to throw up your hands and throw out everything out and, you know, chuck it all off. Uh, chuck it all off to someone else. Right. And just say, I can't anymore. You have to do it and walk out.

>> Nina: Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: It doesn't actually solve long term. What's created the overwhelm. And so the first thing I would always say is pick the one thing that's really bothering you the most that's going to make you feel the most alleviated. Um, so if it is that you're the only one washing the dishes every single night, then that's the one thing to pick and to start with and to have that conversation at dinner and I sit down and just as part of conversation say, guys, I just wanted to bring something up. I love that we all have dinner sitting together every night or, uh, whatever it is that you can find that's working. And then. But it doesn't work for me that we finish eating it and you all disappear off into your own parts of the house and I'm left by myself, stuck at the sink washing the dishes, feeling lonely. I just wanted to bring it up and see if there's something we can do to fix that.

>> Nina: Oh, Eva, I love that. Yeah.

>> Eva Rado: And so, yeah, pick the one thing and just start the conversation.

>> Nina: Great. There you go, mums. That's your action for this week. Pick something, take action and let me know how you go. Let Eva know how you go either. Where can listeners find more about your refi framework or how. How do you work with mums?

>> Eva Rado: Yeah, so I work mostly one on one. I do run a small group programme once a quarter. The rewire framework is on my website and the best place to find me is either on my website or on my socials, Facebook or Instagram. On socials, I am, um, my handle is evaraddo.com, all one word, E V A R A D O C O M. And the website is evarrado.com do cool.

>> Nina: And we'll have links in the show notes for that too.

>> Eva Rado: Yes. Yeah. Excellent.

>> Nina: Excellent. Well, Eva, thank you so much for sharing us today and sharing your wisdom. I have learned a lot and I am actually going, uh, to think about my topic to talk about this week and I really appreciate you taking the time to talk to us. Thank you.

>> Eva Rado: No worries. Thank you so much for the opportunity. Thanks, Na.

>> Nina: Uh, my pleasure. Thanks for listening to your calm parenting path. I am so glad you're here and I hope this episode gave you something useful to take into your parenting journey. If you'd like to dive deeper, sign up to my mailing list@mindfulareentinglifestyle.com.au for more tips and insights. Um, or book a free chat to learn how we can work together. And don't forget to hit, follow, subscribe so you never miss an episode. I look forward to speaking with you next time on your calm parenting path.