Ep15. Parenting Path in Action: When the School Calls

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In this heartfelt Parenting Path in Action episode, Nina share's a personal experience of what it felt like when her child got in trouble at school - and how she worked through the uncertainty by coming back to her mindful parenting foundations. You’ll hear how she moved from self-doubt and overwhelm to calm, connected action - and how you can too.

You’ll Learn

• Why your child’s behaviour doesn’t define your worth as a parent

• How to hold space for calm, honest conversations after school incidents

• What mindful listening really looks like under pressure

• The difference between a forced apology and meaningful repair

• A step-by-step approach to staying grounded and connected.

Why This Episode Matters

Even the most mindful parents feel unsure sometimes. When your child gets in trouble, it can trigger shame, guilt, or panic.

But these moments are powerful opportunities to lean into your values, model accountability, and strengthen your relationship with your child. This episode shows you how.

Take Home Action

Next time your child comes home with a tricky story - or you get that call from school - pause. Breathe.

Then begin the conversation with curiosity, not correction. Reflect back what you hear, and most importantly, listen mindfully - just like we practised in Episodes 12 and 13.

Take the Next Step

If you’re navigating a tough parenting moment and could use support, book a 60-minute SOS Parenting Support Call. I’ll help you find a calmer, more connected way forward. Use the code SOSPATH for 50% off the full price

Links and Resources Mentioned

• Ep12. Are You Really Listening? Part 1: Why Kids Stop Talking

• Ep13. Are You Really Listening to Your Child? Part 2: How to Be a Better Listener

• Book your SOS Parenting Support Call

Let’s Connect

I love hearing from you! Send me a DM on Instagram or shoot me an email! Let me know how this episode resonated or what challenge you’re working through right now.

• Follow Nina on Instagram

• Website: mindfulparentinglifestyle.com.au

• Email: nina@mindfulparentinglifestyle.com.au

About the Host

Nina Visic is a certified Mindful Parenting Coach, Head and Heart Mindfulness Instructor, and mum of three spirited boys. Based in Australia, she helps overwhelmed and frustrated parents raise their children with more patience, less yelling, and a whole lot more connection.

But Nina doesn’t claim to have it all figured out. She’s an imperfect parent too - navigating tantrums, school drop-offs, sibling fights, and messy bedtimes right alongside you. What she brings is not perfection, but a deep understanding of mindful parenting principles, grounded in lived experience, evidence-based tools, and years of supporting families just like yours.

Through her coaching, podcast, and workshops, Nina offers down-to-earth, practical support to help parents stay calm in the chaos, communicate with empathy, and build lasting family connection - even on the hard days.

Transcript

This transcript has been copied and pasted but not proofread or edited, so it may contain errors or inaccuracies.

You're listening to Your Calm Parenting Path. I’m your host, Nina, a mindful parenting coach and mum, here to help you go from overwhelmed and reactive to calm, confident, and connected with your kids.

This show is for parents who want to raise their children with more patience, less stress, and a whole lot more joy. Because small shifts make a big impact—and you can build the parenting life you’ve always wanted.

If you want to see what I’m up to, follow me on Instagram at [your handle]. And don’t forget to hit follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode.

Now, let’s get started!

Hello, and welcome to Your Calm Parenting Path.

Today we have another ‘Parenting Path in Action’ episode – where we take a real life parenting challenge and break it down into simple, mindful steps you can use right away.

And this episode is a bit of a personal one for me, and was a challenge I was navigating my way through earlier this year, and one that I know so many parents face:

What do you do when your child gets in trouble at school for hurting someone, or for being mean to someone? Maybe you get a phone call from the teacher. Maybe your child comes home and tells you about something they did that wasn’t their best moment. You feel that sinking feeling in your stomach. You wonder—how should I handle this? How do I respond without shaming them, or lecturing them, or accidentally shutting them down? How do I not let myself take the blame and think that I must have done something wrong?

That’s exactly what we’re going to explore today. I’ll walk you through a simple, mindful roadmap to handle these situations with care, connection, and curiosity. We’ll build on the listening skills from Episodes 12 and 13—because those skills are so important in these tricky moments.

So grab a cuppa, take a breath, and let’s walk through this together.

Before we even think about how to talk to our child, we need to pause and check in with ourselves. If you’ve listened to Episode 12, you’ll remember we talked about the roadblocks to listening—those sneaky habits that slip in when we’re feeling stressed, like ordering, blaming, or dismissing. And when we hear our child has done something wrong at school, those roadblocks can show up fast.

Maybe you feel embarrassed. Maybe you’re worried about what the teacher thinks of you as a parent. Maybe there’s a little voice in your head saying, “I must have done something wrong,” or, “What will the other parents think?”

Pause. Take a breath.

Your child’s behaviour doesn’t define you. And in this moment, your job isn’t to fix it all or control it—it’s to be their safe place, their guide, and their calm anchor.

So before you go in, ask yourself:

• How am I feeling about this situation?

• What’s my story here—and is it helping me show up in the way I want to?

Regulating your own emotions first gives you the space to be present, curious, and connected.

Once you’re feeling grounded, the next step is timing.

I know how tempting it is to launch straight into the conversation as soon as your child walks through the door. But remember, after a long day of school, they’re likely tired, hungry, and maybe already feeling a bit defensive. This is not the moment for a big discussion.

Instead, wait for a time when you’re both calm. For me, that might look like sitting down together after dinner, or during a quiet moment when everyone else is occupied.

In fact, when I was in this position, I waited until after dinner, got my son a bowl of ice-cream and sat next to him, ready to start our conversation. Because sometimes sitting down together while they’re having an ice cream or a snack can create a more relaxed vibe—there’s something about sharing a simple moment like that that helps kids feel less like they’re being interrogated.

Remember, this is about connection first. The conversation will go so much better if your child feels safe, not cornered.

When you’re ready to talk, the goal is to create a safe space where your child feels able to open up—without fear of judgment. This is where the listening skills we talked about in Episode 13 really come into play.

In that episode, I shared how important it is to pause, reflect back, and let your child fill in the blanks. So instead of launching into a lecture or listing off what the teacher said, try something like:

"Hey, I heard from your teacher today that there was a situation at school. Can you tell me what happened?"

And then—pause. I know, it’s hard! You might feel the urge to fill the silence, but give them space to think, to process, and to speak in their own time.

If they hesitate or don’t offer much, gently reflect back what you know, in a calm and neutral tone:

"The teacher mentioned that a boy got upset after something was said, and that you and another student were involved. Can you help me understand what happened?"

This isn’t about catching them out or proving them wrong. It’s about showing them you care enough to hear their side of the story. And when they do share, resist the urge to correct or advise straight away. Instead, reflect back their words, their feelings, and their perspective—just like we practised in Episode 13.

For example:

"Ah, so when he looked at your friend, you felt embarrassed, and that’s when you said something."

Or, if they struggle to name their feelings, you can offer some gentle prompts:

"Did you feel embarrassed, or maybe angry? Or was it more like a funny feeling in your tummy?"

This helps them build emotional awareness, which is such a vital skill for handling tricky situations in the future.

Once your child has shared their perspective, it’s tempting to jump in with the “next time, you should...” advice.

But here’s the thing—lectures shut down learning. They make kids feel small, ashamed, or like they’re in trouble, and when that happens, they stop listening.

Instead, keep the conversation open. You can say:

"I’m wondering—if you were in that situation again, what do you think you could do differently?"

Or:

"It’s really important to me that we treat others with kindness, even when we’re upset. What do you think about that?"

This is where you can gently introduce your family values—like kindness, respect, honesty—without pushing them. It’s not about saying, “You should...” It’s about sharing what matters to you, and inviting your child to reflect on what matters to them.

If they’re not sure, that’s okay. Just let it land. Sometimes, the seeds we plant now take a little time to grow.

Let’s spend a moment on apologies—because this is a part that often gets rushed or handled in a way that doesn’t teach the lesson we hope for.

You might hear teachers say, “You need to apologise to her right now,” or you might even feel tempted to tell your child, “Go and say sorry!”

And while that can seem like the right thing in the moment, here’s the thing: A forced apology is just words. It doesn’t build empathy. It doesn’t help our child reflect. It might even make them feel more resentful or misunderstood.

So how do we help our child understand what an apology really means?

First, we ask questions. We say:

• “What do you think an apology is for?”

• “If you were in their shoes, what would you want to hear or feel from the person who hurt you?”

• “Do you feel ready to apologise, or would you like to show care in another way?”

It’s also really important to help kids see that apologies are more than words—they’re a way of repairing trust. That might be through words, but it could also be through actions—like inviting the other child to play, giving a kind gesture, or simply showing up differently next time.

You can say something like:

"You know, an apology means we want to make things right. It’s not just saying sorry—it’s showing that we care about the other person’s feelings and that we’re going to try to do better."

And if your child says, “I don’t want to apologise,” that’s okay too. You can explore that. Maybe they’re not ready yet. Maybe they feel ashamed. Maybe they don’t understand what they did wrong. That’s all part of the learning. The goal isn’t to force compliance—it’s to nurture understanding.

And sometimes, you might ask: “If you’re not ready to apologise in words, is there another way you’d like to show care? Could you draw a picture? Write a note? Or even just say hello tomorrow and see if he wants to play?”

This kind of conversation helps kids develop emotional intelligence and social responsibility—not because they have to, but because they want to.

Here’s the most important thing to remember: your child is not their behaviour. A bad moment doesn’t make them a bad kid. And it doesn’t make you a bad parent.

What they need most from you is connection. They need to know that even when they mess up—even when they’re learning hard lessons—you’re in their corner.

So take a breath. Trust that you’re doing enough. And trust that your child is learning, one step at a time.

Here’s your simple take-home action for this week:

Next time your child comes home with a tricky story, pause. Breathe.

Then, open the conversation with curiosity, not correction. Reflect back what you hear. And most importantly—listen. Really listen, the way we practised in Episodes 12 and 13.

Let me know how it goes! I’d love to hear from you—send me a message on Instagram or email me.

So there you have it—a mindful, connection-focused approach for handling it when your child gets in trouble at school. It’s not about quick fixes, but about guiding our kids to reflect, repair, and learn from their experiences.

Remember, we’re not looking for perfection here—just small, intentional steps that build connection and help our kids grow.

If you’d like more support with these kinds of parenting challenges, I’d love to invite you to book a 60-minute SOS Parenting Support Call with me. You’ll find the link in the show notes.

And remember, if you haven’t listened to Episodes 12 and 13 yet, go back and give them a listen—we go deep into the listening skills that are so helpful in these conversations.

Thanks for spending this time with me today. You are doing your best, and that is enough. I’ll see you soon on Your Calm Parenting Path.

Thanks for listening to Your Calm Parenting Path! I’m so glad you’re here, and I hope this episode gave you something useful to take into your parenting journey.

If you’d like to dive deeper, sign up for my mailing list at mindfulparentinglifestyle.com.au for more tips and insights, or book a free chat to learn how we can work together. And don’t forget to hit follow or subscribe so you never miss an episode.

I look forward to speaking with you next time on Your Calm Parenting Path.